Category: Sex

10 Things You Should Know About Fantasies

Fantasies are completely universal, transcending culture. Here are 10 things you need to know about the fantasy phenomenon.

1. Fantasizing can improve your sex life.

People who suffer from things like sex aversion and those who have difficulty with arousal find fantasizing helpful. This works for those who do not have sexual disorders as well. Thinking sexy thoughts makes everything so much sexier.

2. Generally, men and woman fantasize differently.

Men fantasize about things they hear, see and read; body parts and sexual acts. Men tend to focus on the physical in their fantasies and stray away from the emotional. They fantasize about multiple partners, anonymous partners and a variety of partners. The number of fantasy partners averages to about 1000 within a man’s lifetime.

3. Rape fantasies do not make you a rapist.

Fantasies about being raped or raping someone else are very common. At least half of us will fantasize about rape at some point in our lives.

4. What you fantasize about is not necessarily what you want in real life.

Fantasizing about rape does not mean you want to be raped or rape someone in real life. Fantasizing about being with other people does not mean you want to sleep with them. Not everything in fantasy-land makes the transfer to reality.

5. How to share your fantasies

Create a will/want/won’t board – things you will do, want to do and definitely won’t do – and have your partner(s) do the same. Compare these lists without any judgment.

6. Disgusting, impractical, taboo, dangerous or illegal stuff is probably ok in your fantasy land!

For example, sex while driving is unsafe for all involved while on the road. But masturbating to the thought of this sex act is okay! This is why fantasizing is so important. You can go anywhere and do anything as long as you can easily go back to reality.

7. Fantasizing can be harmful.

If you are having trouble getting back to reality after fantasizing, it is becoming unhealthy. Fantasizing incessantly can cause erectile dysfunction, relationship problems, and a drug-like dependency. Increased frequency and extremity of imagery needed to create the same arousal as the first time is a sign that you need professional help.

8. Fantasies also provide a positive escape from reality.

If you are feeling unsexy after a hard day of work, try fantasizing. Maybe about the best sex you have ever had. Your brain will communicate this as actual horny-ness and you will become aroused.

9. Fantasies can serve as test runs.

For example, if you want to try having a threesome – you can fantasize about it, rehearse it in your head as many time as you want and if you encounter any problems you can work through them before anything even happens in real life!

10. Fantasy can lead to orgasm.

People who aren’t sure how to make themselves orgasm find fantasizing helpful. This is because of all the aforementioned fantasy facts. For those who already orgasmic, fantasizing can make orgasms even better.

Bonus: Did you know some people can orgasm just from fantasy alone? No touching required!

What is a Cuckolding Fetish?

Cuckold is a term that was once used to describe a man after his wife had been unfaithful. A cuckolding fetish is when a man becomes aroused while watching his wife have sex with another man. Men with this fetish are known as either cucks or hot-wifers. Cucks enjoy the shame associated with their spouse being pleasured by another man. Hot-wifers think that their spouse is hot and want to share their hotness with others, no humiliation involved. The other men in this situation are called Bulls.

So why would someone enjoy seeing someone they love engage sexually with someone else? One biological theory says that some men are aroused by the thought of their sperm in competition with other men’s sperm. This fetish has been linked to people with higher IQ’s. This is because it takes an intelligent and emotionally developed man to disagree with the thought that he owns his wife. It also takes an intelligent person to push anger and jealousy away as the natural response to this situation.

These fetishes do not involve any betrayal or cheating. All parties are away of the situation. Cuckolding is not to be confused with open relationships, swinging, threesomes, or wife swapping. Cucks and Hot-wifers don’t usually have sex with other women. This fetish is considered interesting because it goes against our “nature”. Our nature tells us we should be jealous and possessive over our spouses. Much of that however is due to environmental factors and social constructs. Because this fetish goes against what most people naturally feel, it’s considered weird.

Is this fetish healthy? That all depends on how it affects one’s daily life. How necessary is this for you to live your life? How does your partner feel about it? If it becomes compulsive and your partner is no longer comfortable with it, the fetish has become unhealthy.

30 Days of Sex Challenge

Rules:

– It HAS to happen every day

– Must be penetrative sex

– Hand jobs/Oral alone doesn’t count

Dr. Ava Cadell, renown sexologist, weighs in:

There are many benefits of having regular sex in a relationship. You will have an increase in intimacy and communication. As well as you know each other already, you will get to know even more. You will both feel wanted, desired, sexy and loved. Sex keeps the spark lit in a relationship. It keeps your relationship healthy in all aspects; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Couple #1 have been together for 5 years.

Couple #2 have been together for 11 months.

Couple #3 have been together for 6 years.

Day 1

Couple #3

The challenge has begun and so far so good!

Day 4

Couple #2

They forgot to have sex before bed and ended up waking up in the night to have sex.

Day 7

Couple #1

They are already fed up and don’t want to have sex anymore.

Day 8

Couple #2

They experience their first failure. They are finding moving into a new place to be an obstacle in the way of sex.

Day 15

Dr. Cadell asks Couple #2 how their relationship has changed. The female partner replies that she usually has an orgasm every time they have sex. During the challenge, she has only orgasmed about 50% of the time. As a couple, they are not enjoying sex as much anymore. Dr. Cadell suggests making sex more of an adventure by sharing fantasies and adding erotic elements.

Couple #3 enjoy sex once they are into it, but initiation is getting difficult. What was once their favorite thing has turned into a chore. Their goal for the end of the challenge is for sex to not feel like a burden.

The male partner in Couple #1 feels like his penis is going to fall off. Their scheduling isn’t matching up so they are having to have sex at odd times of the day. Their goal for after the challenge is to have sex more often.

Day 21

Couple #2

They are finding it hard to get horny and have missed 4 days. Sex now feels like an obligation.

Day 26

Couple #1

They are sorry they ever said anything negative. Sex every day has become less of a chore and it is part of their daily routine. They highly recommend this challenge for all couples. Everyone should try it at least once.

Day 28

Couple #2

They are looking forward to the end of the challenge. While they learned new things about each other, they do not recommend this challenge.

For results, watch the full video here:

Sex Toy Jewelry

For centuries, humans have been wearing jewelry. Jewelry is worn to show off wealth, beauty and sometimes even for protection. The adult industry and accessory industry have collided to create sex toy jewelry. Sex toy jewelry is the new sexy trend.

The Amelia Whip Choker is named after Amelia Earhart. She was a risk taker and into the idea of open marriage. It is a thin black choker, which was once a symbol of sex-workers in the 1800’s. In the early 1900’s the same style of choker was a symbol of lesbianism. Today a leather or chain choker is a symbol of a submissive sex partner. When you unclasp this choker it becomes a whip for gentle BDSM.

The Amelia Lube Vial Necklace is a stylish stainless steel vial that holds any kind of lube. Dr. Doe reminds us that oil based lubricants and condoms do not mix. The Amelia Double Bangle Handcuffs are a stylish bangle bracelet when worn on one wrist. Transfer one bangle to the other wrist and they become quick handcuffs.

The Twiggy Massage Ring is named after Twiggy, a model and sexual icon in the 1960’s. Unlike most female stars of the era, Twiggy wore her hair short and dressed gender neutrally. The balls attached to the ring can be used to gently massage any area on your partner. The Twiggy Nipple Clamp Earrings are stylish earrings that double as naughty nipple clamps. Jewelry like this allows you to carry sex toys wherever you go!

Magical Multiple Orgasms

Multiple orgasms are usually seen as a perk of being female. Males can also indulge in this experience. It’s important to know the difference between an orgasm and an ejaculation. Most people think of these two things happening at the same time. Laci says to think of the orgasm as the “party” and the ejaculation as the “confetti”. The secret to multiple orgasms is separating the two.

The time it takes a man to be able to ejaculate again is the refractory period. During this period, arousal decreases and the genitals return back to normal. This period comes with euphoria and sleepiness. When you are younger this period is shorter and as you age it gets longer. The key to male multiple orgasms is to avoid this period altogether.

So how you do orgasm without ejaculating? Edging is the practice of getting to the point of almost orgasming and then stopping. When you feel like you are almost about to cum, stop all stimulation and let the feeling fade. Get in tune with your body and pinpoint the exact moment you orgasm. Learn self-control and be able to stop yourself from going too far.

The best way to aid your self-control is to strengthen your PC muscles. These muscles line the floor of your pelvic cavity and are the ones you use to push out and stop streams of pee. To strengthen these muscles, clench them for 1-2 seconds. Do 3 sets of 20 every day to keep them strong. You will be able to get to the edge of orgasm, clench these muscles and experience an orgasm without ejaculating. Once you have mastered this, you can do it as many times as you want.

6 Important Facts about Period Sex

Period Sex: yes, it’s a thing! Put the pain and mess of a woman’s period together with the vim and vigor of sex and you get period sex. Here are 6 facts about period sex you need to know before doing the deed.

1. There will be blood

There will not suddenly be a pool of blood you’re having sex in. The blood will only be as heavy as her flow. If you’re having sex on a light flow day, there may not be any blood at all. On heavier days, putting a towel down will prevent messes.

2. Your partner can still go down on you

For most women, it’s a lot easier to orgasm via hand or mouth play than penetrative sex. But, of course, she is bleeding down there. A lot of people aren’t comfortable with it, but if you are, keep a towel handy or do it in the shower. You can also use a dam to prevent mess.

3. Don’t wear a tampon

Okay, so the tampon goes in the same hole as the penis. Wearing a tampon will either block entry or get pushed too far into the vagina. This can cause painful and difficult removal.

4. It can cure cramps!

It can be the last thing on someone’s mind when they are in cramp agony, but it works! Exercise helps with cramps. Sex is a form of exercise and thus helps with muscle contractions.

5. You can still get pregnant.

Yes, a woman can still get pregnant while on her period. It’s less likely, but completely possible. Sperm can live inside the vagina for 5-7 days after ejaculation, and they are on a mission. So after the completion of the period, those little buggers can still swim their way towards the egg. If you want to stay baby-free, protect yourself from disease and keep your junk clean, wear a condom.

6. Period sex is only gross if you say so.

Even if you’re okay with period sex, your partner may think otherwise. Some may not understand the biology of whats going on down there. For others, it may be the sight of blood that turns them off. Clear, effective communication with your partner is the solution.

Threesomes and Group Sex

Group sex and threesomes are not things that happen in porn! Sexual fantasies involving 3 or more people are very common.

A threesome or ménage à trois is, of course, sex between 3 people. It can be between any mixture of genders and is the most performed group sex act. This is because often committed couples will invite someone over that they trust. It is also a very common fantasy for men to have sex with 2 women at once. Anything with 3 or more participants is an orgy. Orgies can take place at sex parties, swinger parties or partner switching parties. Group sex dates back to ancient Greece.

Group sex is for everyone! Couples in committed relationships engage in group sex because they crave variety. A lot of people view sex as physical; a biological need that does not need to be with only one person. The most important thing to remember when engaging in group sex is to always use protection. Having sex with someone you trust can be nice, but the allure is discovering something new.

So if this is something you want to do, how do you bring it up to your partner? Tara recommends being open and honest with your partner. Let your partner know that it’s purely sexual and that it does not take away from how much you love them and desire them sexually. It’s important to be sexually fulfilled so let them know you would be glad to participate in one of their fantasies.

The only group sex act Tara has participated in is threesomes. She finds they take a lot of planning, but she highly recommends them and says they are definitely worth trying.

Watch the full video here:

Gender and Sexuality Explained

There are many types of sexuality. Heterosexuals are attracted to the opposite sex. Homosexuals are attracted to the same sex. Bisexuals are attracted both the opposite and the same sex. There is a wide range of sexualities that a lot of people are not

Pansexuals are attracted to all gender and sexual identities. Asexuals don’t feel attracted to anyone but can feel romantic attraction. Romantic attraction does not involve sex. It is the feeling of wanting a close relationship. There are several types of romantic attraction: hetero, homo, bi, pan, and a-romantic.

There is more to gender identity than male and female. Being cisgender means identifying as the sex you are born as. Intersex is when a person is born with both male and female sexual organs. These people can choose what gender they want to identify as, or they can identify as neither. When someone identifies as neither male or female, they are non-binary.

Those who identify as a different gender than their biological gender are transsexual. Transsexuals have changed their looks and genitalia. Transgendered people have changed their looks only. Neither of these are drag, which is a performance art.

If you are not sure how a person identifies, the best thing to do is ask. It’s important to use gender correct pronouns, so if you aren’t sure, use “they” or “them”. If you are having issues figuring out your sexual identity, that’s okay. Find the right support system to aid you through your confusion.

Watch the super informational video here:

Fascinating Facts About Orgasms

The human body is amazing, as is the sweet release known as the orgasm. Here are some amazingly fascinating facts about the latter.

You don’t need functioning genitals, or genitals at all, to achieve an orgasm. There is a woman who can orgasm from having someone stroke her eyebrow. No word on whether it’s left or right. Paraplegics develop a sensitive patch of skin right above the level of their injury. Stimulating this patch can produce an orgasm.There is a woman who orgasms every time she brushes her teeth. There is a woman who can think herself to orgasm. Orgasms can cause bad breath. An odor can be detected on a woman’s breath a less than an hour after engaging in intercourse.

Orgasms can cure hiccups. A man who had hiccups for days on end had sex with his wife and the hiccups stopped upon orgasm. A published report suggested orgasms as a treatment for chronic hiccups. Doctors used to prescribe orgasms as a fertility treatment. It was once thought that the female orgasm was necessary to become pregnant. They believed it sucked the sperm up into the uterus. Orgasms operate as a fertility treatment for men. Old sperm develops issues that prevent them from swimming. Orgasming often prevents the build up of old sperm.

Studying the human orgasm within a lab setting is not an easy task. Scientists developed a plastic penis with a camera at the end to study the female orgasm. In the 40’s a doctor set out to track the speed of ejaculated semen. There was an old theory saying that the speed had bearing on fertility. His findings were inconclusive.

Watch the very interesting video here:

6 Secrets for an Epic Breast Orgasm

In ancient China, breasts were called “bells of love” and touching these bells could open the heart of a woman to you forever. Breasts were a sacred extension of the heart. In 2011, a scientific study found that a woman’s breasts and nipples are directly connected to her vagina through the nervous system and hormone production. This means that the same part of the brain activated by vaginal stimulation is also activated by breast stimulation and can, therefore, lead to a breast orgasm.

To most women, their breasts are the epitome of their femininity. Show them all your love. They are energy centers and the more you express your love for them the more receptive they will become to your touch. Be open and honest and communicative. Clear communication is extremely important. The more you communicate, the more trust you build. The more your partner trusts you, the more she will be able to relax. The more relaxed she is, the more likely she will be to have an orgasm.

Know how to kiss her! If you want to properly stimulate her breasts, learn how to kiss passionately. The tongue has thousands of sensory nerve endings that are connected to everything – yes even the breasts! A deep, passionate kiss will cause her nipples to erect and stimulate hormone production to the breasts and vagina.

Tease your partner and build tension. Explore the breasts. Touch the sides and undersides. Take your time, go slowly. Explore her body and make your way back to the breasts. Gently brush the nipples and continue exploring.

Lightly squeeze the nipples. Lightly rotate the tip of your tongue in circles around the nipple. Pucker the lips around the nipple and suck gently. Add chilling and warming sensations by inhaling and exhaling long breaths over the nipples. Play with sensation by alternating between the smooth underside of the tongue and the rougher top side of the tongue. In a deep soothing voice, tell your partner to breathe deeply. Intentional breathing will relax her further and allow her to more easily let go. Most importantly – when she is very aroused and on the verge of orgasm, do not make any changed to what you’re doing.

Accept the mystery of the breast. All women are mysterious and beautiful creatures. Because they are all different from one another, breast play for each individual woman will be different. Breast sensitivity changes with a woman’s cycle, so it can change from day to day. Don’t get frustrated if things that worked once don’t work always. Don’t focus on creating the orgasm, focus on the experience and it will be magical for the both of you.

Watch the full video here: