Category: Sex

We’ve gone over the basics of female satisfaction, now Laci is back with a simple how-to on male pleasure.

As usual, let’s begin with anatomy. There is a high concentration of nerve endings in the head, or glans, of the penis. Due to unrealistic expectations created by the porn industry, some seem to think you need to shove a penis halfway down your throat to give good head. There are two spots on the head that you need to concern yourself with: the corona and the frenulum. The corona is the raised ridge around the base of the head and the frenulum is a small patch of skin directly under the tip of the head.

If the penis you are dealing with is intact (not circumcised) these parts will be covered in foreskin. The foreskin is a huge pleasure center with about 20,000 nerve endings. Pulling the foreskin down over the head of the penis will produce a very pleasurable sensation. Circumcised penises will be slightly desensitized due to nerve damage caused by the circumcision, which some see as a good thing (lasting longer in bed).

I know what you’re thinking – what about the balls? You probably know that they are a very sensitive body part that should be handled with care. You can lick them, suck them, rub them, use a vibrator on them – all with your partner’s permission of course – to produce pleasurable sensations. Then there is this little patch of skin underneath the balls, just before the anus, called the perineum which is sensitive to pressure and lubricated touch.

Speaking of the anus, that area is filled with pleasure receptors as well! The anus itself has a lot of nerve endings, but inside the anus is the lovely little gland called the prostate. The prostate is involved in producing semen and considered to be the male G-spot. It’s located at the very base of the penis and accessed through the anus. It swells during arousal and can be stimulated with a penis, fingers or toys provided they have a flared based. According to those who have experienced them, prostate orgasms are out of this world.

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Some people just can’t figure this stuff out – so here are some tips on how to help her reach the female orgasm.

First of all, good vibes outside the bedroom equal good vibes inside the bedroom. If there is any stress or conflict in your relationship, that stuff is going to affect her ability to fully relax during sex. Communication is the hottest form of foreplay, use it regularly.

Take your time! Laci recommends paying attention to the entire body (nipples, back, thighs, neck) with a variety of sensations (touching, kissing, oral). Don’t think of everything that comes before penetrative sex as foreplay. Think of the whole experience as sex and be engaged in every part of it.

This is a given, but get to know the female anatomy! There’s this thing called the clit and it’s kind of a big deal. You can access it externally – it looks like a little button and it located at the top of the vagina.  You can also access it internally via the G-spot – 2 inches inside the vagina and push upwards with a “come here” motion. Don’t immediately go for this area though – slow it down and she will be more aroused by the time you get there.

Two words: Gentle and Lubricated. The external clitoris is extremely sensitive. So sensitive that you can actually hurt it if you work it too hard. Make sure you use a lubricant or saliva and use gentle motions (unless your partner tells you otherwise).

To reiterate, communication is key. Ask her what she likes; what feels good. Try some different sensations out and get her to rate them on a pleasure scale from 1 – 10. Keep the conversation going outside the bedroom about what worked, fantasies and what else you’d like to try together.

In porn what you will see a lot of the time is when the female is approaching orgasm, her male partner will speed up whatever action he is doing. This might work for some people, but for the majority, steady and consistent motion is required to achieve orgasm.

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Curious about what it’s like to be polyamorous? Here are some common questions asked about polyamory answered by actual polyamorous people!

#1. Why isn’t one person enough?
To polyamorous people, having multiple romantic partners is like having multiple friends. It’s not that one person isn’t enough – it’s that there are many interesting and attractive people out there.

#2. What’s the difference between cheating and polyamory?
Polyamory is all about respecting your partner. Everything is consensual, everything is out in the open. It’s not about betraying your partner – cheating is a violation of your relationship.

#3. Are you polyamorous due to your religion?
No – that’s polygamy you’re thinking of!

#4. Does it bother you that people don’t know the difference between polyamory and polygamy?
Yes! Polygamy is a legal term for marrying multiple partners and is often linked to religion. It’s also usually about one man and his submissive, compliant women. With polyamory, everyone is equal and gets a say.

#5. What’s the best tool for making polyamory work?
Communication and honesty. Talk ab0ut what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. Go forward with love and compassion.

#6. Is non-monogamy normal?
Why isn’t the question is monogamy normal? As one person so astutely pointed out, “You can choose to be monogamous just like you can choose to be vegetarian, but that doesn’t mean the bacon won’t smell good”. It’s okay to be polyamorous as long as you do it honestly and ethically.

#7. How do you deal with jealousy?
Everyone deals with jealousy. Sexual jealousy is not some unconquerable issue. Meet your partner’s potential partners so that you don’t blow things out of proportion in your head.

#8. Does it bother you when people just don’t understand?
It’s best not to dwell on what others think.

#9. Do you have any advice for young polyamorous people?
Be absolutely honest no matter what. Don’t pretend you’re cool with things that you aren’t cool with just because your partner is. Reach out to different resources, do your research and get educated. Don’t assume you’ve got everything right. Figure out who you are and stick with it – don’t try to change yourself or anyone else.

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Orgasms are useful for more than just pleasure. Sexologist, Shan Boodram, knows all about the health benefits of The Big O. Here are 10 things you might not know:

Upon the moment of orgasm, your body begins producing a number of different hormones. DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone)  is produced which makes your hair grow longer and gives your skin more elasticity. HGH (Human Growth Hormone) is produced which helps you stay younger physically – you will look and feel better for longer. Orgasms give you a healthy and unmistakable glow. If your orgasm is partner induced, oxytocin, or the cuddle hormone, is produced. This hormone strengthens the bond between people and fortifies relationships.

Orgasms help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. This helps as you get older – you will be less likely to develop issues with bladder control. People who have strong pelvic muscles have stronger orgasms. The more orgasms you have, the better they gradually become.

An orgasm is also a great cure for an illness. You will be sweating and therefore releasing toxins. Orgasms also force the production of immunoglobulin which helps you fight bacteria and infection. If you’re in need of a good night’s sleep, orgasms stimulate the production of prolactin which aids in falling asleep and staying asleep.

A recent study concluded that the chemical composition of people’s brains directly after administering heroin and directly after an orgasm is 95% the same. That’s because an orgasm stimulates the production of a large amount of dopamine.

Shan is inviting you to participate in the 7 Day Orgasm Challenge. Have an orgasm every day for 7 days in the name of health!

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Today, Lovehoney’s Annabelle is here with several options on how to have sex in the summer time without becoming overheated.

If it is way too hot, temperature and libido wise, try sex positions that require minimum body contact. Annabelle recommends what she calls “the Noodle” which is a scissoring type position. This is an optimal position for summer sexy-time as body contact is limited exclusively to the genitals.

Looking for a cool sensation while you’re getting hot and heavy? Annabelle has some ideas. Buy yourself a cooling lubricant or refrigerate your own. These will provide a shiver during your hottest moments. Buy some disposable body wipes with a fresh scent and refrigerate them. Use them to clean up after sex for a brisk, refreshing chill. If you need a more constant cool, invest in a fan to circulate stagnant air.

If it’s just too hot to function but the mood strikes anyway, there are options. Incorporate sex toys and let them do the hard work for you or engage in mutual masturbation. You can still climax together and fully enjoy sex without overheating and getting uncomfortable.

Don’t let the summer heat prevent you from getting hot and heavy! Watch the full video here:

Realistic dildos – crazy good or creepy? Some hold them in high-esteem, while other’s find severed-looking penises off putting. There are advantages, however, to using a realistic dildo.

Realistic dildos are very detailed – veins, ridges, pronounced head. These will provide more internal stimulation than a smooth toy. For those that live for the feeling of internal stimulation that penetrative sex provides, these dildos are the perfect substitute. They are just flexible enough to be comfortable and rigid enough to easily insert.

Realistic dildos are based on the real thing, so there are many different lengths and girths available. This allows you to experiment with different sizes than what you are used to. Some of them come with testicles attached. These are for providing external stimulation on the perineum or clitoris while the shaft is in inserted. The balls also work as a handle to hold onto during insertion. If that’s not for you, there are realistic dildos that come with just a shaft.

Most realistic dildos have a suction cup attached at the bottom. This suction cup easily attaches to any flat surface and is intended to provide hands-free dildo usage. These toys are also compatible with most strap-on harnesses.

If a flesh-colored realistic dildo isn’t visually pleasing for you, they are available in a rainbow of colors. This provides a visual aesthetic while also maintaining all the pleasure benefits of a realistic dildo.

Sammi Cole highly recommends you add at least one realistic dildo to your toy collection.

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Dr. Doe is here again to clearly and concisely explain the do’s and don’t’s of cunnilingus.

The word cunnilingus is derived from two Latin words. Cunnus, for vulva and lingua, for tongue or licking. Dr. Doe’s first don’t – DON’T BITE. Let your tongue do what your hands would do. (Some people like teeth, but that has to be negotiated. Do not surprise someone by biting them).

Do: prep the mouth and vulva. Vulva prep involves getting tested for STI’s, cleaning yourself and shaving. Mouth prep involves checking for cold sores or chapped lips, brushing your teeth and rinsing your mouth.

Do: protect yourself. Infections, like herpes, yeast, gonorrhea, HPV, and syphilis can be passed from mouth to vulva and vice versa. Dams are a great way to prevent the transfer of diseases.

If you are going to go shieldless, do a taste test. Taste or smell before fully committing. Don’t assume no one is going to like your taste or smell.

Do: moisturize. It’s going to be most pleasurable if both the tongue and the surface it touches are both moist and slippery. Don’t spit or slobber. There is such a thing as “too wet” and it’s unpleasant.

Do: breathe. Don’t: blow into the vagina.

Do: teach each other things. Don’t: assume you know everything about someone else’s pleasure. Use your words, communicate and ask questions.

Don’t: bombard the clit. It’s not about finding the magic spot and rubbing it into submission. The clit is very sensitive and can become sore if manipulated too much. Do: use your hands. massage, caress, wander to the back, breasts, thighs, face, butt. Don’t punch, slap, poke, or pinch.

Don’t be insistent on penetration. The Big O can be achieved without entering the vagina.

Do: try new positions. Don’t: let gravity bring anal fluid into the vulva.

Do: involve other erogenous areas (with permission). Treat cunnilingus as its own sexual act. Don’t: use it as a means to penetrative sex. Sometimes it’s nice for cunnilingus to be the star of the show.

Do: communicate what feels good and how you want to be touched. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don’t like.

Enjoy yourself but don’t expect an orgasm. Rest if you need to and don’t tire yourself out.

Watch the full video here:

Talking to your kids about sex can be awkward. Laci Green to the rescue! She’s here to save the day with 10 tips on “The Sex Talk”.

Tip #1: Make the Sex Talk the Sex Talk(s)

Sexual development starts in childhood and extends into adulthood. By not communicating about sex early on, it conveys that sex is something embarrassing that shouldn’t be asked about.

Tip #2: Tell It Like It Is

Don’t lie about sex because you think they are too young to understand. Don’t use other names for their anatomy or use euphemisms. Be accurate and truthful.

Tip #3: Initiate the Conversation

Don’t give it the feel of a lecture. This will make them less receptive to the information. Reference a popular movie or T.V. show to start the conversation. Laci also recommends staying away from personal questions as they can become awkward and not relaying anything they say during the conversation to extended family or friends.

Tip #4: It’s Normal!

Between the ages of 10 and 13, kids begin to have sexual urges and feelings. This is completely normal and healthy, so don’t freak out! Reprimanding them for these thoughts and feelings tells them they can’t come to you in an emergency. They will tune you out and do things on the down-low.

Tip #5: Respect!

Let them know that they deserve to be respected and, in turn, they need to respect others. Their body doesn’t belong to you or anyone else but themselves – that goes for their partner as well.

Tip #6: It’s Real.

Teens go through a lot of firsts – just like you did! Don’t dismiss their emotions. What they are feeling is real and raw and very intense.

Tip #7: Comprehensive Sex Ed

Cover a broad range of topics. For example: masturbation, menstruation, gender identity, sexual orientation, healthy vs. abusive relationships, readiness for sex, sexual pleasure, communication/consent, respecting your partner’s body, body image, and self-esteem.

Tip #8: Make It Clear What They Deserve

They deserve happiness, safety, a healthy and pleasurable sex life. They deserve to be secure about their body and to be respected.

Tip #9: Be a Resource

Teens need help accessing things like birth control and condoms. If you feel like there are questions you can’t answer, point them towards some good literature, websites or youtube channels.

Tip #10: Love Unconditionally

Let them know you are there for them, always. This becomes even more important in case they are assaulted or have a pregnancy scare.

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Is there such a thing as the perfect blow job? As Ashley Elizabeth explains, as long as you stick to the basics (no teeth, sufficient lubrication – not too slobbery, incorporate your hand) it should at least be decent. But if you feel like your D sucking game isn’t up to par, not to worry. Like anything else, practice makes perfect!

Ashley suggests clear communication with your partner about what they like and don’t like. The more pleasure you give your partner during oral sex, the more pleasurable the act of giving oral sex becomes for you.

So what if your guy’s got some funky junk? If he’s just got home from a long day at work or just finished his work out – now may not be the time for a blow job. Wait until he showers, suggest a shower together or forego the blow job altogether and do something else!

For those of you who don’t like swallowing but feel weird about spitting it out (When? How? Where?) get your guy to give you a heads up when he’s close. Guys – getting a surprise load in the mouth isn’t fun or sexy, so let your partner know. That way she has time to decide how she’s going to deal with it. If you’re not into finishing blow jobs, you can always use oral to get your partner hard and have sex. Guys, however, have a tendency to think that swallowing is sexy. So, if your partner likes it and you don’t mind doing it, have atter!

Ashley wants you to put your fears to rest – don’t worry about slobbering, gagging, making eye contact or looking stupid. You don’t have to get everything perfect as a beginner, you can work up to these things. Ashley’s advice concerning pretty much every sexual act is this: the first time is always a little uncomfortable and awkward. If something really bothers you, you don’t have to do it. But pleasuring your partner can, in turn, be very pleasurable for you. Have fun, talk it out and be safe!

Watch the full video here: