If you don’t already know, dildos are those penis shaped objects used for sexual pleasure. They date back thousands of years – the human race has been self-pleasuring for a long time! In the past, people have made DIY dildos out of wood, bone, silver, animal horns, and leather.
Dr. Doe has some new, easy ways to make dildos out of stuff you have around your house. Some household objects that are commonly used as dildos are pens, a screwdriver handle, kitchen utensils, makeup brushes, markers, a hammer handle, lotion bottles, and flashlights. Any item you use as a dildo needs to be smooth and free of any sharp edges or rough textures that could do internal damage. If an item you want to use does have rough edges, you can use a nail file to sand them down or wrap the item in some padding.
Here are some 9f Dr. Doe’s favorite homemade combinations:
#1 Marker-washcloth-duct tape-cotton balls-band aid
Fold the wash cloth in half and wrap it around the marker. Secure the cloth with duct tape. Put a few cotton balls at the end and secure them with a band-aid. Slip a condom over the whole thing when you are ready to use it.
#2 Wooden spoon-new sponges-rubber bands-cotton balls
Fold the sponges around the handle of the spoon. Secure the sponges with rubber bands. Again, add cotton balls at the end and slide a condom over the top to keep everything in place. This dildo also doubles as a paddle!
#3 Lemon juicer-sock-headband
Wrap the sock around the lemon juicer and secure it with the headband. Slide a condom over top of it. the headband provides a ribbed texture.
#4 Large bubble wand, toilet paper, masking tape
Wrap the toilet paper around the bubble wand and secure with masking tape. As always, slip a condom over top.
#5 Hair brush, oven mitt, ribbon
Slide the hairbrush inside the thumb of the oven mitt. Using good, sharp scissors, cut along the shape of the hairbrush and get rid of the rest of the mitt. Wrap brush/mitt combination in the ribbon and slide a condom over top.
#6 Toothbrush holder, glow stick, bubble wrap
Crack and shake the glow sticks to activate them. Put them inside the toothbrush holder. Wrap the bubble wrap around the toothbrush holder with the bubbles facing outward for a unique texture. Secure it all with packing tape. Slide the condom over top and turn out the lights!
You can also use food as a dildo as long as you follow these basic rules:
#1 Nothing that can break off and get stuck inside your body.
#2 Must be pesticide and preservative free
#3 Nothing that leaks fluid
Food items that are okay:
Carrots, cucumbers, squashes, eggplants, corn on the cob
Food items that are NOT okay:
Popsicles, pickles, corn dogs, fruits, or hot peppers.
*If using any of these homemade dildos or food items for anal-play they must have a strap attached or a flared base. Otherwise, they might get stuck in your rectum warranting a visit to the ER.