Sex Education Archive

How to Put a Condom on an Intact Penis

In this episode of Sexplanations the clinical sexologist Lindsey Doe talks about how to put a condom on an intact penis.

Step #1

Make sure the condom isn’t all banged up, compromised, or expired. Check the package for holes or tears. Read the expiration date correctly, usually year first and then month. Keep it out of harm’s way until you are ready to use it.

You can get a nifty case where you can store your condoms, and put it inside your purse. Or, you can improvise a little, and make a case for condoms out of a cotton swamp container, for example. Do not put your condoms in your wallet or back pocket, where they can get smashed and damaged.

Step #2

Now that you are ready to use one, pull the condom out of the way and tear the package gently. You don’t want to break the condom while opening the package, or cause it to fall out. Once it’s open, carefully remove the condom. This is when we move onto the most challenging part. Which way does it roll?

Step #3

Don’t worry. We have all messed it up at one point. There’s a 50% chance of getting it wrong if you don’t know what you’re doing here. If the condom looks like a beanie, then you’re good. If the ring is flipped up inside, not good. Another way to make sure it’s correct is to test it on your thumb. DO NOT test it on your cock, because if you accidentally try to put it on from the wrong end, that condom will no longer be usable.

If it unrolls smoothly on your thumb, that’s the right way. If it catches and stretches, that’s the wrong way. Turn it over. If the condom is going on a penis, it’s important to leave room at the tip for the semen to pool. Hold the tip closed so that it does not fill with air as you slowly slide it down the phallus. Roll the condom halfway down, then grip the penis like you would for a hand job and slide upwards so that the foreskin moves back over the top. Make sure you roll the rest of the condom down.

All in all, practice different techniques and try various condoms to see which feels the best for you. You can get condoms from clinics, gas stations, grocery stores, but Dr. Doe recommends ordering them from AdamandEve.com. And, that is because:

  1. They have a huge assortment of condoms: textured, flavored, colored, etc.
  2. They have sample packs so that you can find what’s best for you without committing to a whole box.
  3. They’re half the price, when you use the discount code provided in the video below.

Keep experimenting, my friends, and until next time!

THE SEX TALK

Welcome to the sex talk, ladies and gentlemen. The famous YouTuber Thomas “TomSka” Ridgewell, who has around 5M subscribers on his channel, shares all the basics you need to know about sex. If you are a virgin, this video is something you should be watching. Even if you have been dancing horizontal tangoes for awhile, you might find quite a few new information, so keep on reading, folks.

Part One. The Bits.

As you might or mightn’t already know, sex is (usually) when people use their genitals to experience the bliss that beggars description. If you are born with a penis, your genitals are composed of glands/head, urethra, shaft, and testicles. Penises come in all different shapes, and sizes. They stand to attention when excited – the process known as erection – and sleep it out the rest of the time. Testicles are where the sperm is made, and the sperm is what makes babies when it successfully fertilizes a female egg.

Now, if you are born with a vagina, your genitals consist of a clitoris, labia major, labia minor, urethra, and vagina. Much like penises, they come in a wide range of shapes and sizes. On top of naturally cleaning themselves out once a month when not pregnant – the process, known as menstruation – a vagina can also make itself wet when in the mood for sex. When semen, which contains sperm, enters a vagina, chances are that the woman will get pregnant, if some form of protection is not used.

Moving up the body, ladies also have breasts. The ring of pigmented skin surrounding a nipple is called areola, and the nipple… well, most likely you know what that is. If not, check out the video below for a visual demonstration. Don’t get any ideas, though. You are not going to see real boobies in the video. Breasts also come in all different shapes and sizes. Furthermore, milk comes out of them when you have a baby, as is the typical characteristic of any mammal.

Part Two. Sexuality.

There are so many different types of sexual orientation that the topic needs its separate post. But, to put it briefly, heterosexuality is when people of the opposite genders are attracted to one another. Homosexuality is a sexual attraction to the same gender. Bisexuality is a sexual attraction toward both female and male. Asexuality is when a person is not sexually attracted to anyone. Pansexuality, also known as omnisexuality, is when a person is attracted to all forms of gender identities. And, then there are gender identities, which is completely different from sexuality.

Part Three. Virginity.

When it comes to the decision about when you should start having sex, there are two things you should take into consideration:

1. The Law.
Depending on where you live, the age at which you can start having sex, varies. For example, the age of consent in the United Kingdom is 16, while in the United States it’s 18. Always be informed of the laws in your country, and follow them no matter what.

2. You Need To Be Ready.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into losing your virginity, or having sex for that matter. You are the one who decides when you want to do it. What happens to your body should be your choice and yours alone.

Part Four. Sex.

There are a lot of ways to have sex, with countless positions available in Kama Sutra and vast sex ED content available online, some of which don’t necessarily involve the contact of a genital to a genital. It’s extremely important to use protection to not end up with a baby when you are not ready for a family, and to not end up having to go through an abortion. Contraceptive pills and implants are used to prevent conception, in other words, fertilization. But, they do not protect you from STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), which is why a condom is your best pal. Some STDs are curable, while others can potentially kill you, so be very careful about who you sleep with, and have condoms with you at all times.

Part Five. Rape.

Remember this clearly – you NEVER have to do anything you don’t want to do. You are NEVER obliged to sleep with someone, even if that person is already your partner. Any type of sexual activity where someone has not given their consent or has REVOKED it is sexual assault or rape. And, in case you were wondering about consent – consent is a willing, sober, and continuous ‘YES’.

Part Six. Shame.

There are a lot of ways of having sex and getting kinky with your partner. As long as you are abiding by the law of the land, and both you and the other person are into it, then it’s all good. Everyone has different likes and preferences, so don’t ever feel ashamed of your sexual fantasies. What you do with your body is your business, and what you do with someone else is between you and them alone.

Have fun experimenting, my friends, and until next time!

My Daily Sexual Self-Care Practice

“The Headmistress of Pleasure” as seen in Women’s Health Magazine Layla Martin talks about daily sexual self-care practice. Layla has studied sexuality at Stanford University and in Asia with Tantric masters, so her knowledge on the subject is vast and expert. She has been featured on the Huffington Post, CBS, Playboy, etc. So, what’s with the self-care?

Well, hygiene might be the number one thing that comes to your mind, and it should! But that’s for another time. In this video, Layla discusses how basic practices of giving pleasure to yourself can really help you get in tune with your body. Whether you are in a relationship or not, it’s important to give your body that which it desires. And, love has never hurt anyone.

Sexual self-practice is something you do every day or almost every day. It keeps you sexually vibrant and alive. The routine goes like this:

1) Breast / Testicle Massage

If you are the one with breasts, either in the morning or night time, give yourself a basic breast massage. You know your body the best, so you’ll know what feels good. It can last for around 30 seconds, or more, depending on your preference.

If you are the one with testicles, do the same thing to your family jewels, my man. Put some coconut oil on your palms and rub your testicles the way they want to be stroked. Touching yourself equals giving your body love, which helps you connect to yourself, so why the hell not?

2) Jade Egg Practice / Conscious Masturbation

If you are the one with the vagina, pop a jade egg inside. Jade eggs are used to clear chi pathways in the body, cultivate sex energy, and invigorate life force. You can do basic pelvic movements and squeezes with the jade egg inserted. Check out Layla’s channel for more information about these.

If you are the one with the penis, have a conscious masturbation practice. As you masturbate, involve breathing exercises. Stay present, and circulate your energy in a circuit throughout your body. Just 5 minutes a day of this can dramatically improve your sex life.

3) Ecstatic Blissful Experience

A full orgasm is amazing, of course. But, you can achieve bliss without climaxing. For women, Layla recommends 5 minutes of pussy breathing. Mouth open, breathing in and out of your pelvis and your pussy. And, either touching your hair or your body, stroking your vulva.

Pretty basic practices, but doing things like these every day is a massive game-changer. The love you give to your body is what you manifest!

Have fun experimenting, my friends, and until next time!

Doctors Answer The Most Googled Sex Questions

In this episode of BuzzFeedVideo, Dr. Lisa Masterson and Dr. Kia Michel answer the most googled sex questions. Lisa is an obstetrician and gynecologist, while Kia is a urologist.

In case you did not know, obstetrics is the field of study that’s concentrated on pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum period. Gynecology is the study dealing with the health of the female reproductive systems and the breasts. And, urology, also known as genitourinary surgery, is the branch of medicine that focuses on surgical and medical diseases of the male and female urinate-tract system and the male reproductive organs.

Long story short, BuzzFeed invited professionals for this episode, so let’s see what they have to say about Google’s most popular sex questions.

Why is my vagina peeling?

It depends on whether you have the peeling on the outside or inside. It might just be a discharge. But, if your vagina is shedding layers, you definitely want to see your doctor about it. It might also be a sign of diabetes or a reaction to toxic irritants. Go see your doctor if you notice something unusual down there.

Why is my vagina swollen?

Usually, it’s the trauma that causes intense swelling, vigorous penetration or vigorous external rubbing. It could be a Bartholin’s cyst, or Bartholin’s abscess, both of which need to be drained by a doctor. If your vagina or lips are swollen, go see a doctor.

Why is my penis bleeding?

An STD might be the culprit behind it. If blood is coming out of your urethra, then there must be some sort of trauma to the urethra itself. If the urine is bloody, you have to have it checked at the doctor’s office to make sure there is not something more serious happening.

Why is my penis small?

Believe it or not, most men are roughly around the same size, which is about six inches. So, if you feel like you are small, you might actually be very average.

Should I have sex on my period?

If you and your partner are comfortable with it, then go ahead. Period sex could actually be when women have most orgasms, since they are well lubricated and their hormones are let down. Note that you could still get pregnant even on your period; so if you are going to have sex, make sure that you use some form of protection.

For this and more, check out the video below:

When is it okay to have sex again after having a baby?

Let’s get a little sterile with this post. Nurse Dani of Intermountain Healthcare talks about postpartum sex. When is it okay to have sex again after childbirth? A good rule of thumb is four to six weeks after delivery, since the body is still healing. Wait until she has gone to your doctor so that they can examine her and give her the green light. Listen to the advice of the professionals and be patient.

Another thing to think about is contraception. The doctor will talk about several contraception options for her at the postpartum visit, and it’s very important to be on top of that. You don’t want to get her pregnant right away. Her body needs some time to heal, okay? Researchers have shown that the ideal spacing from the birth of one baby to the birth of the next is two and a half to three years. True, the hormones that support lactation suppress ovulation, but you still need some form of contraception.

Another factor to consider is vaginal dryness. After the delivery of a baby, estrogen levels drop, and this together with the nursing affect natural lubrication. So, the dryness may persist as long as she continues to breastfeed your baby. But, worry not. That’s what lubricants are for. Just make sure the lube you use is phthalate free. For more on that, check out the interview with the sexpert Emily Morse.

Okay, so, suppose the weeks you were supposed to wait have passed, and according to all the research you’ve done and the doctor’s advice, you can start having intercourse. Everyone’s body is different, and it has a lot to do with how the woman feels. It’s totally normal for her to feel exhausted, and not really into it. Both partners should be understanding and respectful of the things the other partner is experiencing.

If during or after the intercourse, she experiences pain or bleeding, urge her to talk to her doctor. Be healthy, be great, my friends! And, until next time.

Oil Based Lube and Latex Condoms

Here’s an important safe-sex tip that absolutely everyone should know: YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT USE OIL BASED LUBRICANT WITH LATEX CONDOMS.

Okay? I mean never ever. Here’s Why:

Within 1 minute of contact between oil and latex can cause, “90% deterioration in the strength of condoms“. Now, while there isn’t much of an answer in regards to why this happens, we know it definitely, DEFINITELY happens. The best answer that anyone can come up with is that oil weakens the molecular structure of the latex. Again, there isn’t a lot of research on why this reaction occurs. In this video, though, you can see it in action.

Kara Sutra, in her video series Sex 102, decides to answer a viewer question: Can you use oil-based lubricants with latex condoms. To make it clear why that is a very bad idea, Kara performs an experiment. She applies a latex condom to her hand and dips it into a container of baby oil. By just applying the oil, Kara can already see the condom deteriorating. A few pulls are all it takes, and the condom begins to break into pieces. Now, think about the added stress actual sex puts on the condom. Oil lubricant and constant friction – that latex condom is toast.

This is very important sexual education that everyone should know. It would be horrible for anyone making the safe decision to use a condom and have that decision dashed because of the wrong lubrication. Make sure to always use water-based lubes and to carefully read lube packaging to make sure.

Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder

In this video, Dr. Doe explains Persistent Genital arousal syndrome. As a professional sex therapist and physician, Dr. Doe helps her clients through various sexual issues. She describes a recent call from a distraught client. She had what felt like an orgasm while she was exercising and it had never come to resolution. The resolution of an orgasm is where sensitivity subsides and the body enters a state of relaxation.

After trips to several other doctors, she was continually diagnosed with Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder with no solution. But how bad can constant arousal actually feel? Dr. Doe provides an example: a quick ice bath may feel invigorating – but constantly being submerged in ice water will hurt! Constant arousal is a bit like a constant ice bath. You just want it to stop. People with this disorder describe the feeling as tortuous. Some have said they would rather rid themselves of their sexual organs than continue dealing with this disorder.

Have you ever felt the urge to sneeze and nothing happens? When you don’t get the release the sneeze provides it is kind of annoying. People with Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder constantly feel right on the verge of orgasming but nothing happens. That is more than just annoying, that’s agonizing.

Symptoms

  • Feelings of persistent and wanted physical arousal
  • Throbbing, engorgement, pressure, and discomfort in the genital and surrounding area.
  • This all happens without sexual desire.
  • There are varying degrees of irritation.
  • Restless leg syndrome and the frequent urge to urinate.
  • Stress and depression.

Causes

  • Vascular: could be due to blood flow or lack-there-of to the genitals
  • Neurologic: something to do with the brain.
  • Pharmacologic: Could be a side-effect of a medication
  • Hormonal: Might be a reaction to hormonal changes.
  • Idiopathic: Something completely unrelated to any of the above that is uncertain
  • With so many possible causes, you can imagine how hard it is to narrow them down to right one.

Treatments

  • It seems obvious – just have an orgasm, right? WRONG. Sexual contact does not lessen the symptoms. It actually makes them worse.
  • To start treating this disorder, first, call a gynecologist to make sure what you are feeling is a serious disorder.
  • After that some treatments include:
  • Counselling
  • Local anesthetic
  • Electroconvulsive therapy
  • Hypnosis
  • Change in medication
  • Surgery
  • Distraction

Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder has led to many suicides and needs to be taken seriously. If you think this is what you are dealing with, please find a medical professional that who understands the disorder.

How to Identify A Suspicious Bump on Your Junk

It has happened to almost everyone – a red, painful bump appears on the genitals or surrounding area. It might just be a pimple or ingrown hair. But how do we rule out potentially harmful infections or diseases?

If you are concerned about a spot that has appeared in your nether regions, please contact your healthcare provider and they will run the appropriate tests. This video will provide potential options as to what the bump could be and how to tell the difference between them.

PIMPLES

Pimples are pores that get clogged and create a small red bump – sometimes with a white head. These should go away on their own within a few days if you don’t bother with them. Pimples can be connected to a diet high in starch and sugar. Changing your diet and improving your hygiene can reduce the number of pimples you get.

INGROWN HAIRS

Ingrown hairs appear similar to pimples except they have a hair growing within them. They usually occur if you have recently removed hair from the area, regardless of the method used. If it is causing a lot of pain take an anti-inflammatory and apply a hot compress. If you can redirect the hair with a pair of tweezers, do so very carefully. Ensure your hands and tweezers are very clean.

HERPES

These are sores you do not want to mess around with – no poking or squeezing. To identify them observe the following characteristics:

  • You have had them before.
  • They always appear in the same place.
  • You knowingly came in contact with someone who has herpes.
  • The first symptom is tingling and itchiness.
  • The bump gets progressively worse before getting better.

The herpes sore cycle begins with red sores that will swell and release clear fluid. You might feel irritable or feverish during this time. You will experience burning and discomfort. The sores will eventually dry up, scab over and fall off on their own.

You can go to any walk-in clinic and asked to be tested if you are not sure and they will prescribe you medication. These medications do not cure herpes – there is no cure. The medicine simply cuts the cycle length by half. There are over-the-counter medications as well. However, these do not always work and in some cases have made the symptoms worse.

Guys Sex Misconceptions When They Were Kids

We all have gone through a period of our life when we didn’t know what sex was. The group of guys you will see in the video have some hilarious memories about their youth and sex misconceptions. Follow along and reminisce!
 
What did you think a vagina was?
 
This is a tricky one. If you don’t have one, how’s a kid supposed to know? In the mind of one man, he thought women had one hole. That one hole then separated into the poop hole, pee hole and baby hole inside them. One guy thought the vagina hole would look flat like a belly button, only further down. To the surprise of another, women didn’t have penises. He thought the word vagina was a name for the female penis.
 
What did you think sex was?
 
Before we are old enough to fully understand what sex is, it’s completely up to our imagination. The consensus was that it definitely had something to do with the penis and the vagina. The logistics after that get a little fuzzy. One man knew there was a hole that penises went inside. Where that hole was or what happened next were a mystery. Another thought that you rubbed your penis on the outside of the vagina, no concept of “inside”. As a pre-pubescent youth, one man thought missionary was for baby-making. Doggy-style was for very bad people.
 
How did you first discover porn?
 
Oh, that glorious day you first discovered recorded sex! One man was innocently looking for a blank tape to record a TV show on. When he popped it in to check if it was blank, he got a very close shot of a vagina. Another discovered internet porn, which is mother discovered shortly after. She was not impressed.
 
Did you ever have “the talk” with your parents?
 
The talk. You know the one. Yep, that talk. It can be super awkward for parent and kids alike. But, it’s important for kids to grow up sexually healthy, and that includes a good sexual education. These men, however, did not receive that. One man’s parents decided if they didn’t talk to him about sex, he would never have it. Another man’s mother told him if he ever did have sex his penis would get cancer. What?! One unfortunate soul got a personal sexual history lesson from his father.
 
Check out the full hilarious video here:

Sexual Consent 101

Sexual Consent 101:
 
You are hanging out with someone you have feelings for. There is a definite spark between you. They ask, “Can I kiss you?”. Cue butterflies, smiles, giggling like a little girl. It’s sexy! But why? Because they asked permission! And guess what? Consent isn’t just sexy, it’s mandatory.
 
If you proceed with sexual contact without consent from your partner, it is considered sexual assault or rape. Perpetrators often coerce their victims through manipulation, black mail, drugs or alcohol, and physical force. Victims often know and trust their attacker. Sexual coercion is often portrayed in the media and is seen as okay. A teenage boy lusts after his high school crush and repeatedly attempts to win her love. In the movies, it’s portrayed as romantic, but in real life, it’s annoying and creepy.
 
How to Ask for Consent:
 
Good consent requires occasionally checking in with your partner. Pay attention to their body language. Keep the sexual communication flowing. This ensures both partners feel safe and comfortable.
 
Rapists often see sex as something that is owed to them. YOU. DO. NOT. OWE. ANYONE. SEX. It doesn’t matter what your previous relationship was. It doesn’t even matter if you had sex with this person before. It doesn’t matter if you had sex with them 12 minutes ago. Even if you are naked with someone in a bed, you don’t owe them sex and they don’t owe you sex.
 
Bothering someone until they say yes is not real consent. Real consent cannot be obtained if NO was never given as an option. Consent is a very clear, concise yes. You can hear it from their mouth and see it in their body language. It is enthusiastic. Your partner will visibly encourage what is happening. Not saying NO does not equal a YES. Silence does not equal a YES.
 
Situations where consent cannot be given:
 
1. When they are drunk:
Even if they say the word YES. If they are too drunk to drive, they are too drunk to knowingly consent to sex.
 
2. When they are underage:
The age of consent varies around the world. What doesn’t vary is the fact that sex with minor is considered rape.
 
3. When you hold authority over them:
You cannot get real consent from someone you have power over.
Ex) Teachers, coaches, doctors, priests.
Your influence prevents their ability to consent.
 
Watch the full video here: