In this video, Liz answers a letter from “Janie”. She writes that her boyfriend is pretty well perfect except for one thing. He likes to have sex in public. It began outside a club one night on the hood of a car and has escalated to places you are more likely to get caught in. Now all their sex is public sex. He someday wants to have sex on an airplane and while skydiving. The sex they have at home is usually on the kitchen table or on the balcony. “Janie” has been enjoying her time with her new boyfriend but is beginning to want some regular, boring sex in bed. Mentioning it to him makes him upset.
He is not an exhibitionist. Exhibitionists are turned on by their genitals and sexual activities being viewed by onlookers. Even though the sex is taking place in public areas, it’s still just between “Janie” and her boyfriend. For the majority of folks, just the excitement involved in having sex is enough for them. Others, however, require more. The boyfriend sounds like he likes the thrill involved with the possibility of getting caught.
So what should “Janie” do? Liz says, STOP. Stop having sex in public places. The excitement of maybe getting caught might turn your boyfriend on, but actually getting caught is not worth it. In most states, getting caught having sex in public space comes with a charge of indecent exposure and requires you to register as a sex offender. Plus, “Janie” really doesn’t sound like she is comfortable with the whole thing. You are never obligated to continue sexual activities you are not okay with.