A relationship expert Alexandra Potora gives us tips on how to realistically spice up our sex life. She mentions the word realistically because some of us don’t have hours in the day to dedicate to lovemaking with our busy schedules. So, this is for all of you busy bees out there. Taking care of your family and work is great, but be sure to not neglect your sex life. One, sex is important to keep your relationship alive, and two, it is proven to have healing properties.
#1 Speak Up
Be vocal about what you like to your partner. Most of us are not mind-readers, so it’s important to let them know about your preferences, and ask for it. The more you communicate with each other, the better your sex life is going to be. Never feel afraid or ashamed of sharing your fantasies. You are in this together, so establishing a safe space for you to be open about your desires is a must in every healthy relationship. Once you let them know what gets your fire going, find out what they like and want.
Three questions you can ask are:
- What do you like?
- What’s your favorite position?
- What would you like to try next time?
#2 Switch It Up
Try different locations. Having sex in bed all the time can get boring, so why not get creative with locations in your house? Some of these spots could be kitchen counters, in the shower, on the bathroom vanity, on the floor in the living room and other rooms, chairs, tables, couches, in the laundry room, on the stairs, etc. There are so many places in your house you could have sex. Just make sure you have privacy, and nobody’s going to walk in on you. But, if you are into exhibitionism, then I’m just going to go silent here.
This tip is for ladies out there. What are you wearing in the evenings? Yes, PJs and sweatpants are super comfy, but wearing something sexy for your heartthrob works wonders. This is not to say you have to be walking around in lingerie. It IS possible to look sexy and also be comfortable. Something with long lace sleeves could be an option. Also, something with a deep V-neck that brings out the breasts or a man’s button-up shirt that’s buttoned only half-way. Find options that make you feel comfortable, and at the same time bring out your assets.
Another tip in here would be to choose the color red. Culturally and universally, red is associated with love and passion. In a report from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men were more likely to say they wanted to have sex with a woman if she was wearing red.
#4 Laugh Before Bed
Watch a funny show or a movie before calling it a night. Laughing gets your blood pumping, and increases your heart rate, which can help enhance your sexual experience. Besides, it can also work for getting both of you to relax and bond. Laughing helps you get rid of stress. So, why the hell not? Snuggling together and watching something hilariously entertaining that brings your spirits up is always a good thing to do.
#5 Seven-Position Challenge
Over the next thirty days, starting today, implement seven different positions in your sex life that you either haven’t done before or haven’t done in awhile. If you go to Alexandra’s website, you can find an image with multiple sex positions, or you can also check out the post about Kama Sutra sex positions for something extra to walk away with tonight. Talk to your partner about this, show them what you’d like to try and get adventurous with your horizontal tangos.
#6 Morning Sex
Dr. Debby Herbenick, who is a research scientist and sex advice columnist, said that having sex in the morning releases oxytocin, also known as the feel-good chemical, and that makes couples feel loved and bonded all day long. Morning sex is good for your health, overall mood and relationship dynamic, while for men, morning sex also helps them last longer and have more energy, since testosterone levels peak overnight. But, don’t just blindly follow the studies, because we are all different and some might be in the mood for sex during mornings, while others might feel the sexiest during the dark hours.
Keep communicating and experimenting, my friends, and until next time!