Category: Sex

Shower Sex – It’s Debatable!

Shower sex – on one hand, it is sexy, slippery fun! On the other, it’s dangerous and risky! Buzzfeed debates the value of having sex in the shower.

There are many positive aspects to shower sex:

  • For long term couples, shower sex is an easy way to spice things up without too much effort.
  • There nothing in the way – sheets, blankets, clothes. You have complete visual and physical access to the entire naked body.
  • Water does magical things to the human body. Sexiness amped up to 11.
  • It’s a 2 for 1 – get it on and get clean all in one go!
  • The bathroom has amazing acoustics for those who enjoy hearing the sounds of pleasure.
  • It’s extremely intimate to invite someone into the shower with you as it is usually a solo venture with a different mission.
  • You don’t have to worry about clean up when you are finished.
  • Shower sex is a great way to enjoy sex on your period without getting messy.

In turn, there is also a solid case against shower sex:

  • Do you live with other people? Your parents or roommates? It’s weird to think that they might have got it on in your shared shower. It’s probably weird for them to wonder if you have too.
  • Showers are where people wash. There is a ton of bacteria you are exposing yourself to.
  • Showers are great for having some alone time. Relax in the warm water, sing your favorite song or get your schedule straight in your head.
  • You are putting yourself at risk when you have shower sex. You could very easily slip and seriously injure yourself due to increased movement and misdirected attention.
  • Water is NOT a good lubricant. In fact, the natural lubricating fluids produced by the body are broken down by water. The more water added, the less slippery these fluids are. That kind of friction does not feel good. If you are using a condom, there is the added risk of it breaking due to insufficient lubrication.
  • Soap is not a good lube either. It can really sting and if you get soap far enough inside your vagina, you can develop a serious infection.
  • Timing can be tricky as well. Is it a quickie or a session? The water is going to be cold by the time you get out.
  • Depending on the shower, it can get crowded and difficult to position yourselves properly.
  • It’s difficult to share the water equally. Someone will end up cold and someone will be drowning.

What are your thoughts on shower sex?

He Enjoys Public Sex…

In this video, Liz answers a letter from “Janie”. She writes that her boyfriend is pretty well perfect except for one thing. He likes to have sex in public. It began outside a club one night on the hood of a car and has escalated to places you are more likely to get caught in. Now all their sex is public sex. He someday wants to have sex on an airplane and while skydiving. The sex they have at home is usually on the kitchen table or on the balcony. “Janie” has been enjoying her time with her new boyfriend but is beginning to want some regular, boring sex in bed. Mentioning it to him makes him upset.

He is not an exhibitionist. Exhibitionists are turned on by their genitals and sexual activities being viewed by onlookers. Even though the sex is taking place in public areas, it’s still just between “Janie” and her boyfriend. For the majority of folks, just the excitement involved in having sex is enough for them. Others, however, require more. The boyfriend sounds like he likes the thrill involved with the possibility of getting caught.

So what should “Janie” do? Liz says, STOP. Stop having sex in public places. The excitement of maybe getting caught might turn your boyfriend on, but actually getting caught is not worth it. In most states, getting caught having sex in public space comes with a charge of indecent exposure and requires you to register as a sex offender. Plus, “Janie” really doesn’t sound like she is comfortable with the whole thing. You are never obligated to continue sexual activities you are not okay with.

The Basics of Talking Dirty

In the bedroom, communication is extremely important. There are different kinds of communication that take place in the bedroom. One of which is talking dirty. Talking dirty is a great way to spice things up. Kara Sutra covers the basics.

When a woman says “harder” in bed, she means just that. Not faster or deeper. Harder. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it, but HARDER. Got it?

When she says go “deeper” this also does not mean faster or harder. Push deeper with the same rhythm as before. “Faster” means FASTER. Not deeper or harder. Just faster. Glad we got that out of the way.

“Faster” means FASTER. Not deeper or harder. Just faster. Glad we got that out of the way.

All Kara wants you to understand is that it is important that you are telling you partner exactly what you want and, in turn, that they are completely understanding you.

Now when it comes to talking dirty, there are some that wonder, what the hell am I actually supposed to be saying? There are basic phrases to incorporate.

“That feels so good”

“I love the way that feels/the way you feel inside me”

“Please do more of that”

Now, these aren’t to be whipped out of nowhere. Kara encourages you to say what you are feeling. If it feels good, tell them how good it feels. If there is something you want them to do, tell them you want it done.

Once you get more comfortable with talking during sex, you can start asking questions.

“Do you like that?”

“Do you like when I do this?”

That then provides an opportunity for your partner to talk as well by answering you. If you are on the receiving end of these questions, don’t respond with a bland yes or no. Get into it! If you absolutely love what they are doing, say that!

When you get more comfortable with talking dirty, you can start incorporating more perverse content and obscenities.

“I love it when you f*ck me like that”

“I love the feeling of your c*ck inside me”

However, unless you have communicated what is okay to say and not say beforehand, take it easy on the name calling. You don’t want to call your partner a name that might shut down the whole evening. Insulting your partner is not the aim of dirty talk. Kara recommends having that talk and drawing the line so that it is not accidentally crossed in the throes of passion.

Dirty talk also happens in the form of “Sexting”. Again, some people have no idea what to say when they receive these texts from their partner. Most of the time they are just afraid of saying something stupid and embarrassing themselves. Kara recommends just playing along. Match their dirty text with one of your own. Say whatever you want to say.

Sex Advice for New Parents

If you have kids, you already know. If there is one on the way, this advice is for y0u! These new parents share what they wish they would have known about having sex after kids.

Sex after kids requires planning and coordinating of schedules. It becomes more difficult to jump into the sack whenever the mood strikes. You need some quiet, kid-free time to actually do the deed. In most cases, sex also happens less frequently.

In most cases, sex also happens less frequently. Kids keep you busy! New moms might find themselves dealing with hormone changes and mood swings. This affects the desire to have sex as well as the emotions attached to that. New moms may also feel insecure about their changing bodies and have trouble feeling sexy.

Common advice people get before having a baby is, “sleep as much as you can before the baby comes!”. A footnote in that advice should be, “and also have sex as much as you can before the baby comes!”. When your kids are older and can entertain themselves, sneaking away to another room for a quickie can be fun. If you usually take a long time to finish, figure out as a couple how to get each other off in a short amount of time. You have about 15 minutes before your minions will find you.

4 Worst Sex Tips From Cosmo

The Think Tank is notorious for poking fun at.. well basically everything. In this video, they are taking a critical look at Cosmo magazine’s 4 worst sex tips ever.

Tip #1

“Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations.. And mix up yummy treats all over his body”

While John seems to think that it’s not so bad, Hannah points out something very important. If you are a hairy guy, be careful what substances she is using to “mix up treats” on your body. Anything too sticky or thick is going to be difficult to remove. Also, licking said substances off a hairy body might feel a bit different than licking them off a smooth body.

Tip #2

“Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed.. Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other’s body”

Is your partner a cat? Do you have to spray them when they do something you don’t like Don’t forget to pat them on the head and give them a treat when they do something you do enjoy.

Tip #3

“As you’re eating dinner say.. ‘See how I’m devouring this piece of meat? That’s how I’m going to devour you”

Um. Yeah, let’s not. That actually sounds like you are a serial killer. If you want your partner to think you have someone living in a pit in your basement, by all means, say some weird stuff like this.

Tip #4

“Cook dinner topless, apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple, and ask your man to lick it off”

Make sure it doesn’t come right out of the pot and onto your nipple. If blistering skin is your weird sex fetish, go right ahead. You are probably also going to smell like a pizza burp if you keep rubbing sauce all over your body.

I think at some point Cosmo ran out of normal sex tips and started publishing the bat-shit crazy ones that your drunk, inappropriate, overtly sexual Aunt mails in. Have some fun and combine the tips together. Keep a spray bottle of tomato sauce beside the bed and spray it on your partner as you eat a piece of meat. (Please don’t).

Turn-On Tips

The Come Curious girls are here with their best turn-on tips 😉

  1. Prepare before a sexual situation by having a conversation about her likes and dislikes in the bedroom.
  2. Be friendly, complimentary, loving and caring.
  3. Being pushy in order to get your way or arrogant like you know everything about everything is NOT sexy.
  4. Don’t try to be the nonchalant, self-proclaimed “cool guy”.
  5. Find music that gets you both in the mood and play it low.
  6. Be cute, soft and touchy-feely.
  7. BUT don’t be gropey and grabby. That’s creepy.
  8. Touch her hair, lightly graze her arm, gently squeeze her hand.
  9. Kissing and making out is very important. Don’t treat it as a means to an end. Let it last as long as it needs to.
  10. Be gentle. Nibble the ears, the neck, the lips. Gently stoke her thighs.
  11. Play with her undergarments – pull her bra strap down, run your fingers along the elastic of her panties.
  12. Slowly undress each other. Huge turn-on.
  13. Keep all your attention on her. Your time will come.
  14. It’s better if you have done your research on what she is into, but if not ask her from time to time.
  15. Don’t skimp on the foreplay. Again, don’t treat it as a means to an end.
  16. Soft breast and nipple play is key.
  17. Make it clear to her that she was turned you on.
  18. Press your hard-on against her
  19. Be straight up – tell her she has turned you on.
  20. Tease her with the tip of your cock by rubbing it against her clit.
  21. Compliment her from the start to the finish. This will make her feel more confident and comfortable with you.
  22. Make sure she is relaxed so she can fully enjoy having sex with you and want to do so again.
  23. The majority of women are turned on by a dominant man. Try picking her up, throwing her on the bed, or hold her arms down (all with consent).
  24. Being safe is sexy – putting on a condom doesn’t have to be this weird stoppage between foreplay and sex. Don’t make a big deal about it. Just do it and.. do it.
  25. Keep lines of communication open. Everyone is turned on by different things. Make sure she likes what’s going on.

The Benefits of Mutual Masturbation

Lovehoney’s Annabelle Knight is here to explain the benefits of mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation is sometimes described as the act of partners pleasuring each other without penetrative sex. However, in this context, it is described as the act of pleasuring yourself in front of your partner.

Annabelle describes mutual masturbation as a liberating experience that highly increases the intimacy that couples share. If you are not sure how to approach this sexual activity, here is Annabelle’s how-to.

#1 Talk ab0ut any fears or worries you have. If there is anything that concerns you or that you are afraid of, get them out in the open before beginning your session.

#2 Set the scene. Dim the lights, light some candles, play some music. Do whatever you need to do in order to prepare the room and make it a comfortable and safe space.

#3 Make eye contact. Not like weird, staring at each other, creepy eye contact. Look at each other and get in the mood together. Take a second and focus your breathing. This is especially important if it’s your first time with mutual masturbation. It shows that you are present in the moment.

#4 Even though you are doing this together, masturbation is an independent activity. Refrain from touching one another. Using this time to educate yourself. Watch what your partner is doing to themselves. Notice how they make it happen and how long they do the action for. Your partner should be educating themselves about your pleasure as well. If there is something you like to do during solo time that you would also like to do when you duet, this is the perfect time to perform.

#5 If you are going to use a toy, use something small that will not hinder your partner’s view of the good stuff. Guys – Annabelle recommends a transparent masturbation sleeve. For vaginal or anal play, Annabelle suggests a curved, clear glass dildo. For clitoral stimulation, use a small bullet vibrator.

Mutual masturbation has many benefits. You get to show your partner what you like and, in turn, you get to learn what they like. It increases the intimacy couples share and can spice up their sex life at the same time. It improves both your sexual health and your overall health. Is mutual masturbation the secret to happiness? Find out here:

50 Sex Tips Women Wish Men Knew

These are the top 50 sex tips women wish men knew.

  1. Choose your moment. Women need to be in the mood for sex.
  2. Slow and steady wins the race!
  3. Sex in the shower can wash away natural lubrication. Practice on dry land first.
  4. Try leaning back while thrusting. It will instantly improve the angle and sensation for her.
  5. There is no one perfect sex position. Find out what she likes best.
  6. Laugh! Bodies make funny noises, turn any awkwardness into part of the fun.
  8. Explore the body – sensitive areas like her neck, ear lobes, and inner thighs.
  9. Communicate . If you want to try something new, tell her!
  10. Sex is better on top of the covers, not under them! Throw that comforter on the floor.
  11. Use a pillow to prop up her hips for deeper penetration.
  12. If she says she’s about to cum, don’t stop or change what you’re doing.
  13. Watermelon is natural viagra.
  14. Not every woman appreciates oral. Don’t assume your partner does!
  15. Being naked in front of someone new is nerve-wracking. Be complimentary.
  16. Massage the area around the clitoris, not just the clit itself.
  17. Don’t assume your partner likes doggy-style.
  18. When you are going down on her, use your tongue and your fingers.
  19. Real women usually don’t perform like porn stars in the bedroom. Don’t expect that of your partner.
  20. Cut your nails before you use your fingers!
  21. Clean sheets are the second largest turn on for women.
  22. Tease her. Do everything but sex until neither of you can wait any longer.
  23. Use a gentle technique for oral sex.
  24. Don’t forget about kissing. It makes mind-blowing sex even more amazing.
  25. If you are nervous about suggesting a new position, joke about it first.
  26. Talk dirty to her. Tell her how much she turns you on.
  27. If you are getting a blowjob, don’t push her head down further.
  28. Don’t be silent. Women love to hear you enjoying yourself too!
  29. Give her a cuddle. Don’t just roll over and go to sleep.
  30. The best time to ask about trying a new fantasy is while you’re in bed.
  31. Take your socks off before your pants.
  32. Listen to the sounds she is making and react to them. Moaning is good, silence is bad.
  33. Try having sex somewhere new. Do it outdoors!
  34. Keep yourself trimmed but don’t go overboard.
  35. Tell your partner when you are going to come.
  36. Keep some lube handy.
  37. Increase your confidence to release your inner sex god.
  38. Abstain for a little. If you don’t have sex for a week, when you do it will be mindblowing.
  39. She wants you to finish as badly as you want to finish.
  40. Foreplay is not a means to an end!
  41. Build your stamina. Get fit and last longer!
  42. Sex is sticky and sweaty and messy – embrace it!
  43. Find The G-spot.
  44. Vary the mood. Rough and dominant to soft and romantic.
  45. If you have trouble with premature ejaculation try male kegel exercises.
  46. If you are trying anal – LUBE UP.
  47. Don’t expect oral sex if you are not offering it back.
  48. Use toys.
  49. Be enthusiastic so she knows you are having a good time.
  50. Biting is NOT as sexy as it looks in movies.

Kink, Fetish, Paraphilia – What do they mean?

What’s the difference between a kink, a fetish, and a paraphilia?

A kink is something you are interested in. You try it out every once in a while and have fun with it. A kink is not something you desperately need. It’s not necessary in order to achieve sexual satisfaction.

A fetish is an extreme fondness for something – a certain situation, an object, a certain body part. The difference between a kink and a fetish is that a sexual fetish presents itself as a need. Whatever the fetish is directed toward is necessary for sexual satisfaction.

Paraphilia used to be the term used by experts to describe sexual disorders involving compulsive fondness for something atypical, like a victim. The term now used is paraphilic disorders. Paraphilia has been redefined to mean something closer to fetish.

So what defines a fetish as disordered? Typically fetishes involving self-harm or non-consenting victims are considered to be paraphilic disorders. They cause social distress and impair daily functioning.

Never diagnose yourself. If you think you might have a paraphilic disorder, seek professional help. There are psychiatrists who specialize in sexual disorders.

So if you are really into breasts, does that mean you have a breast fetish? As earlier defined, a fetish is necessary for sexual satisfaction. If you are attracted to breasts but don’t need them to achieve an orgasm, it is not a fetish. If you are extremely attracted to a certain size of breasts, a certain shape of breasts, or type of nipple, and require them for sexual gratification – that is when it has become a fetish.

Many people have fetishes that they have been successfully able to integrate into their lives. As long as your fetish doesn’t involve anything illegal, it’s ok! The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can find someone that loves and accepts you for it. It is important for everyone to enjoy healthy sex lives.

Why Do We Moan and What Are The Benefits?

The moaning sounds we make during sex are created by air passing through the larynx. The more forceful the exhale, the louder the moan. Moaning sounds can be influenced by hormones, genetics, personal health and your mood. So why do we do moan?

Sometimes it’s involuntary. Moaning is the body’s natural response to something that feels really, really good. Other times, we moan during sex to show off. Some like to let the neighbors know that they are having headboard rattling sex. During sex, some people like to let their partner know how much physical exertion they are putting into what they are doing.

A study showed that when tennis players grunted while hitting a ball, they weren’t working any harder than when they didn’t grunt. They did, however, perform better. Apply the same principle to sex! Adding a noise without adding any work increases performance.

Sometimes moaning signals satisfaction. It lets your partner know what you like and don’t like. It assures them that they know what they are doing and acts as a thank-you. Moaning can also be used as manipulation. One study concluded that 2/3 of women surveyed said they use moaning to help their partner climax faster. Moaning increases arousal and speeds up orgasms.

Another reason we moan during sex is to add the sense of sound. Sex is better when all senses are stimulated. The final reason is that it is a perceived expectation. We think we have to moan during sex so we do. The media portrays sex on TV and in movies with moaning noises. We are taught that it is sexy to moan a lot and that the best sex is loud sex.