Laci Green, the famous YouTube sex educator, talks about 5 top female sex fantasies.
Woman-On-Woman
Believe it or not, many women fantasize about having sex with a beautiful woman. Who else can know the female body better?
Dominatrix
High heels, latex, and all that jazz. A combination of being desired and being in a position of power is what makes this fantasy so highly exciting.
Sex with a Stranger
She is in a shady bar. A handsome stranger steps out of the shadows, seduces her and whisks her away. A night of steamy, uninhibited sex sans names, sans numbers. Just straight pleasure.
Rape
One of the most common female fantasies is the one in which the woman is raped or sexually assaulted. She may be physically restrained or disadvantaged, protesting every second, but at the same time secretly enjoying it.
Note that rape fantasies don’t mean women want to be raped or sexually assaulted.
Laci mentions 3 hypotheses explaining the science behind this:
1) It’s an extreme expression of power dynamics. Who would not like to surrender completely and receive?
2) Our culture eroticizes violence and aggression, and people are internalizing that.
3) It is a guilt mechanism, meaning she can engage in this wild, raunchy sex and then not feel guilty about it.
Roleplay
This can include dressing up in costumes. There are a lot of common themes in erotic role-playing, which mostly are about power play between the people involved.
Usually, one person is the dominant character, while the other one is being submissive. Such scenarios include a teacher and a student, a prisoner and a guard, a priest and a whore.
The list goes on and on, but exploring more into erotic role-playing is definitely worth your time. It’s one of the greatest things you can do as a couple to spice up your sex life.
Adina Rivers, the founder of MyTinySecrets, talks about threesome sex, and gives us 6 tips on how to make the experience “unforgettable”. First off, she starts with how threesomes are like unicorns – unique and breathtaking, which can elevate your spirit. But, if not done correctly, it can pretty much ruin relationships.
So, are you interested in broadening your horizons and experimenting a little? Well, make sure you approach this with mindfulness and sensitivity. Note that a threesome can happen between all sorts of genders. The most important thing is to stay open. Making love to more than one person is prone to create a powerful sexual energy. And, sexual energy sparks life-force, productivity, and creativity.
1) The Right Mindset. For starters, figure out why you think you might want to have a threesome if you are already in a relationship. Get still, Adina suggests. Stillness has the power to bring out what’s true for yourself, and I could not agree more. If there are any unresolved issues in your relationship, chances are they will surface during a threesome. Make sure the bond with your partner is secure and you two are on the same wavelength before you dive into the unknown.
2) Prepare Your Partner. Start talking about your fantasies with your partner, and see how they react. Take it easy. You don’t have to go all the way in on your first attempt. You can start with simply making out with the said unicorn. Then, check in with your partner to see how they feel about it. If all is good and you are both genuinely enjoying the process, go ahead and get deeper with it.
If you are unsure whether you want to try it, though, ask yourself these questions:
a) can you do this or think about it when you’re not horny?
b) do both of you talk about having threesome sex or is it just one of you?
3) Find The Right Unicorn. When looking for a person to join you on your sexcapade, make sure you both are attracted to them, and they are attracted to both of you. They must be willing to do this with no strings attached. And, they should definitely be sane enough to not wreak havoc on your relationship. There’s no need to rush into anything, unless you are up for a roller-coaster ride.
4) Set Boundaries And Rules. Prior to embarking on this adventure, talk about what is on and off the table. Is kissing okay? Is intercourse okay? Talk with each other, and if there’s anything important, let the unicorn know as well. Stay true to yourself, and respect your partner’s and the unicorn’s feelings.
5) Safety First. Discuss sexual history and practice safe sex. Don’t ever feel embarrassed to ask what you need to know before engaging in a sex with someone. For the shy ones out there, you can use the app called “Healthvana”. It uses your lab tests to track your health, which you can share with others.
6) Be Present. This goes for all things in life. The more open and in the moment you are, the more you’ll enjoy the experience. The more present you are, the higher your sexual energy will be. Don’t overthink it and let it all flow naturally. Breathe. Breathe. And, again – breathe.
What happens when spiritual and physical mix together? Tantric sex. What does that even mean, you might ask. Sacred sexuality. Wanna know more about it? Well then, let’s hear Ray Maor, a spiritual mentor, give us tips and tricks for sexual tantra.
How can we start having tantric sex? Do we have to shave our heads, climb the holy mountain, reach a spiritual awakening, and acquire the secret knowledge of sexual tantra after passing tests of our egos? Well, actually no. With the eastern wisdom merging into the western world, we now have access to this beautiful practice; and let me tell you, beautiful it really is. However, if you are just interested in fucking, skip this post, and check out something else. But, hey, come on, give love-making a chance.
Tantric sex is about not focusing on the end result. But, instead, placing your focus on the path and enjoying it with your partner. I have to refer back to the mountain-climbing. Do you climb the mountain to summit, or do you climb it to enjoy the road, the very present? Tantra makes sex a spiritual ritual of connectedness – a sacred act that brings two energies together. Think about it like a ritual. You prep for it mentally, lighting candles, smells, creating a pleasant atmosphere for you and your partner.
The next thing you need to understand is that orgasm and ejaculation are two different things. There is an involuntary muscle that with practice men can make voluntary. And, the more they are able to control this muscle, the longer their orgasms last. Neat, eh? You can reach an orgasm without ejaculating at all, and by doing so, you retain your sexual energy – meaning, you can have sex soon after the orgasm without the tiredness that follows the ejaculation process.
So, what are the tools to control this? Ray teaches us two tricks.
1) The million dollar point, located underneath the testicles. When you press this point, you are actually stopping the sperm from coming out. As you are reaching an orgasm, start pressing it strongly with your fingers and don’t let go for at least 15 to 20 seconds.
2) Learning how to control the muscle you use when you urinate. You can practice controlling it by stopping when the stream is at its maximum current. Hold it briefly, then let go and continue. Then stop again, and let go again. This is the muscle you cannot control during an orgasm that creates ejaculation. But, with practice, anything is possible.
During an intercourse go up to 80% of your orgasm. When you feel you are getting there, use the above-mentioned muscle to stop. Imagine that you are breathing the energy and moving it from the lowest chakra upwards toward your head. Just imagine it and breathe. You will see that it all comes together. You are holding that muscle, and pushing it up. And, you will feel that the sexual energy is not concentrated only on that organ. It’s spreading everywhere.
Sexual tantra is not just some 15-minute average sex. It takes much more. It can take half an hour, sometimes hours. If you are interested in controlling your orgasm and getting the best out of it, and your partner supports it, then why the hell not? Go ahead, experiment with it, and have fun!
Check out the video below for detailed instructions:
In this episode of sexplanations, Dr. Lindsey Doe, a clinical sexologist, talks about how to eat ass.
Step 1 – Ask Your Partner If You Can. Consent is everything. You might be too eager to pleasure your partner, but’s it’s important to get their permission before you decide to play the rusty trombone.
Step 2 – Get Ready.
Once they have let you give them a rim job, it’s time to get ready. Avoid giving anything bad TO their asshole and getting anything bad FROM their asshole.
Here are the infections you can get from anilingus:
• Herpes
• Gonnorhea
• Chlamydia
• HIV
• Syphilis
• Hepatitis A
• Hepatitis B
• Gastrointestinal Problems
• Parasites
Crazy, eh? What can you do to reduce the risks of catching a disease from culosex? Check out the 4th step for safety tips, but for now let’s move to…
Step 3 – Set a Time.
The one with the asshole, watch your bowel movements. Monitor what you eat so that you are not sick or gaseous. Shower and wash your whole butt with soap, especially the anus. Don’t go inside, though, and make sure you rinse well. Trim, shave, or wax your pubes if you want to, and then wash again.
The one with the mouth, don’t eat anything spicy if you are going to eat your partner’s anus directly. For hygiene’s sake, clean your mouth. But, to avoid catching anything bad from the anus, you’d rather…
Step 4 – Get Dams!
Acquire some dams for a layer of protection. They reduce the risk of all the bugs mentioned above.
In this video, Lindsey demonstrates three ways to make a quick dam from a condom, a glove, and a non-microwavable cling wrap. Fun times are good, but remember – safety first.
Step 5 – Play.
Play with all sorts of body parts, kissing, massaging, whatever it takes to get your partner aroused beforehand.
Step 6 – Lightly Blow on the Asshole.
Blowing will light up the sensitive spot, as well as waft the smell toward you, so that you can check if you want to proceed.
Step 7 – Add Lube & Put a Dam in Place.
Add enough lube to keep things soft, but not too much so that anus thinks it’s leaking. Lindsey is not opposed to direct mouth to anus contact, but she recommends using a dam for many benefits.
Step 8 – Go Slowly.
Work your way to the anus from the buttocks, from the genitals, inner thighs, etc… You want to feel welcome there and the best way to do that is by approaching with care.
Step 9 – Check In.
Come up for air and ask your partner if they are enjoying themselves, want it deeeper, wetter, and so on. If you are getting just a yes or no answers, chances are they want you to stop talking and get back to business.
Step 10 – Enjoy Yourself.
Whatever sexual act you do with your partner, it should be enjoyable for everyone involved. If you are not into it, be honest. It’s okay for you to stop at any time and it’s okay to let you partner know what you think about eating ass.
Step 11 – Wash Your Mouth And Face Afterward.
Make sure you thoroughly wash your mouth after the act with soap, mouthwash. Brush your teeth, floss. You want to clean your mouth well, before you get back to your partner.
Step 12 – Stay Curious.
Have a longer conversation about what it was like for both of you. Do you want to do it again in the future? If so, what can you do to improve the experience? Open communication – the key to all healthy relationships.
Did you know your hands can be equally as good as your penis at giving pleasure to your woman? That is, of course, if used correctly. So, let’s talk about how to pleasure your lady with your fingers and hands.
No matter how incredible you might be with your cock, you’d wanna know how to give her an orgasm with just your hands. Maybe, your boner needs a break after the first or the second round, while she is all hot and bothered. Or, maybe you two are in your car outside and feeling a little naughty. Whatever the scenario, a man who knows how to pleasure his woman with more than his penis is a man a woman would definitely want to keep.
Marni Kinrys, a professional wing girl and the founder of the Wing Girl Method, gives us advice on how to properly finger our ladies. So, let’s get started.
Step #1 – Hygiene.
Before you even get close to touching your woman, make sure your hands are clean, and your nails are trimmed and filed. You don’t want her walking away with possible cuts or infection. It’s also important to note that if you insert your finger in her anus, that finger should not touch her pussy until cleaned with soap. There is a very high possibility of her getting an infection, if you do not follow this basic protocol. Be mindful of where your fingers are going and make sure they are clean!
Now that we have covered the hygiene, let’s get into the juicy stuff.
Step #2 – Go slow and touch softly.
A woman’s vagina is like a delicate flower that needs special attention and gentleness to open up and bloom. Women are different than men, as in they can’t dive right in the sexual act unless they are properly stimulated.
This step is all about prepping a woman so that she is ready for your fingers. Your hands don’t come close to her vagina until you have carefully prepped and teased her entire body. Marni calls this “teasing the V”. And, the more you invest in the foreplay, the more intense her orgasm is going to be.
Picture yourself holding a flower in your hand. You touch the outside of the petals first, gently caressing them, allowing her to open up at her own pace. Do not rush this process, and make sure you are rubbing her with the pads of your fingers and never the tips. You want this to be a pleasurable experience and not a painful one. Once you feel her starting to get wet, you move to –
Step #3 – Raking.
Once you prepped a woman, and she is wet and ready for you, it’s time to start raking. Using your fingers, you rake her juices in upper motion from bottom to top where her clitoris is. Again, using the pads of your fingers with a light pressure. After about five or ten strokes, slowly enter one finger inside of her and make sure your finger is wet. NEVER enter a woman with a dry object even if she is wet inside.
Tip #1
Don’t use your fingers like a dildo or a penis.
Tip #2
Her orgasm is achieved because she is stimulated by a rhythmic motion.
You can go back and forth from her vagina to her clitoris several times, and pay attention to her reactions. If you notice she was reacting more when you touched her clitoris, zone in on that clit!
Tip #3
Go in slow circular motions with moderate pressure and slowly increase the speed as she gets more aroused.
If she was more excited when you inserted your fingers, put them back in and go to –
Step #4 – Hitting the G-Spot, the deep spot, and the clitoris.
The G-spot is located about two to three inches inside of her vagina at the front wall. Its texture is pretty rigid like that of a walnut’s.
The deep spot is also located at the front wall, but a little deeper inside the vagina. Its texture is completely smooth.
Start slowly and softly, and build yourself up to a hand thrust. Pay attention to her reactions, for they tell you when you are hitting the right spots.
What you can also do is stimulate her clitoris with your other hand while you are working her vagina. Try stroking and penetrating with different rhythms, though. You don’t want to be automating the same movement with both hands.
For more details on this, check out the video below:
Are you worried about the size of your penis? Well, you should not, because guess what? It is a scientifically proven fact that size does not matter. It’s about what you can do with your penis. True, some women have better vaginal orgasms with bigger cocks, but this is just one kind of orgasm. If you are born with a smaller penis, you might want to get yourself better acquainted with your woman’s clitoris. For now, let’s discuss three small penis sex positions suggested by Marni Kinrys.
Marni Kinrys is the founder of The Wing Girl Method, which teaches men how to attract, date and get any girl they want. She is known to turn Mr. Nice Guys into Mr. Holy Shit, I Want Him!!! She has been doing this for over a decade, and her approach is very straightforward and to the point.
1. Modified Missionary. For this one, you want your woman to lie on her back with a pillow underneath her pelvis to prop it up and take the strain away from her lower back. Then, what you wanna do is slide your penis into her vagina from an angle, nice and slowly, rubbing against her clit. Remember, the concentration is on the clitoris, not the cervix.
2. Calibrated Cowboy. Whether you are the one on top not, you wanna be the leader in a sexual experience, says Marni. In this one, have her sit on top of you. But, instead of having her bop up and down, you want her gyrating back and forth against you. This way she can rub her clitoris against your pelvis and clench herself tight on top of you so that you won’t slip out.
3. The Hook-Up. This one requires flexibility but it’s fun. Let your woman lie down on her back with a pillow underneath her pelvis so that she is comfortable and her pelvis is tilted upward at a 45-degree angle. Lift her legs onto your shoulder and cross them to make her vagina tight as you penetrate. Making that space as tight as possible will let your cock properly rub against her inner walls and clitoris.
Do you have trouble lasting long in bed? Does your partner complain about you finishing before her? Tantra, sex and relationship expert Psalm Isadora gives us tips on how to fix this issue with what she calls the dick gym.
Psalm is the founder of the global sex coaching program Urban Kama Sutra – the only home-study program that teaches the ancient tantric secrets. She has appeared as a featured sex expert on CNN, Buzzfeed, Playboy, Dr. Drew, and many more. You can find certified tantra coaches on her website.
Back to the topic at hand – one of the ways you can increase your stamina in bed is by building up your testosterone. The more testosterone, the more virility and sexual appetite you have. You might be thinking, how the hell do I boost my testosterone when T levels naturally decline with age?! The answer is simple – work out.
There are numerous testosterone building workouts available online, if you want to get in depth with it. But, first, let’s start with the basics. You can increase lower body strength with deadlifts, hip thrusts, squats. Over time you will see how much stamina you have in bed, and all those hip thrusting movements prep you for long love-making sessions. Who would not enjoy that?!
Another thing you can do is increase cardiovascular capacity by doing high-intensity interval training. An example of cardio HIIT workout would be doing sprints for 30 seconds on a treadmill and then going at a slower pace for 90 seconds. Then going 30 seconds as fast as you can and going slow again for 90 seconds. Doing this for 20 minutes will start to build up your cardio.
Another important thing is mental game. You have to go in this, feeling confident and persistent about your decision. You want to make sure it lasts longer and that she is also having a good time. Nothing is worse than being the only one satisfied after sex – that is if you want to maintain your relationship, okay? Have the willpower that you are going to give her more pleasure and your body will respond to the willpower of your mind.
Another thing you can do is edging, peaking. You masturbate to the brink of an orgasm, and then you slow down, relax, breathe until you are ready to repeat the same technique. This teaches you how to maintain a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching an orgasm – hence, lasting longer in bed.
Speaking of masturbation, if you like to do that, by all means, go ahead. But, if you can’t get hard for her later, save it for your partner. Either don’t masturbate, or masturbate and don’t ejaculate. Make sure you always help her finish too. Things happen and no matter how hard we try, you might be the first one to come, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES leave her hanging.
Give her oral sex, or finish her with your fingers. You gotta make sure your woman orgasms when you two are having sex. Even if she might say that it’s ok, trust me, it’s NOT OKAY, and the resentment builds, which then leads to breakups. So, don’t leave her hanging. Make sure you both have fun and have orgasmed after a good horizontal tango.
Interested in sex toys for beginners? Well then, check out this episode of ThinkTank, where America’s famous sexpert Emily Morse introduces fun items for couples and individuals.
Aware of Emily’s celebrity status, I was very curious to find out what she had to say about this topic. I mean, she has been a relationship and sex therapist for over a decade and has appeared on numerous networks, including NBC, CBS, ABC, HLN!!!
She recommends starting with small toys such as bullet vibes. You can find those on her website. Her online store carries a lot of fun stuff, ranging all the way from lubricants, vibrators, etc., to wigs, lingerie, and even sex position cushions. It’s like a candy shop for those interested in enriching their bedroom with sex paraphernalia.
The first sex toy Emily shows Hannah Cranston, the host of ThinkTank, is – Womanizer by Epi24. This clitoral stimulator uses pleasure air technology, mimicking the sensations of cunnilingus. In their studies, women were able to orgasm in 60 seconds thanks to the Womanizer’s “gentle kisses”!!! Wild, eh? Might be a fun gift for your partner!
The next item she shows us is the Mystic Wand by Vibratex. This orgasm machine has eight different vibration patterns and various speed settings. It can also be used as a massager for your body… her nipples… his back. Like every other sex toy Emily recommends, the Mystic Wand is phthalate free and made of body safe materials.
Speaking of which, fun times are good, but remember – safety first. It’s important to do your research before you start experimenting with sex toys. Currently, there are no regulations in sex toy industry, and some sex toys are made of materials that can harm your health. So, do your homework.
Then, Emily pulls out a tickler, giving ideas for the bedroom games. It gets a bit fifty-shades-of-grey with mentions of slapping and spanking, but who does not love a little excitement in their bedroom?
“If you like toys or require toys to get turned on, that’s totally fine”, she says. Those of you, worried about sex toys replacing you, know that Toys ENHANCE your relationship. You don’t have to worry about losing your partner to a machine that does not talk and cuddle, okay?
How do you bring up the topic of sex toys to your partner, though? “Timing and tone”, says Emily. Find the right place and time to talk about it. Show them beforehand, let them test it. Keep it light and fun. That’s the whole point of it! Communicate with each other and have fun getting your feet (and other parts) wet!
In this episode of ThinkTank, Hannah Cranston interviews America’s renowned sex expert and the author of “Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight” Emily Morse. Emily herself hosts an award-winning podcast, that has been up and running since 2005, downloaded around 40 million times, and named as one of the Top 12 Sex Podcasts by Esquire Magazine. There is so much hype about Emily that I was very intrigued to find out what top five tips she had for those of us interested in enriching our sex lives.
First and foremost, she talks about the importance of communication. She likes to say “communication is lubrication.” The more comfortable you are talking about sex with your partner, the better your sex is going to be. It’s unfair to expect of your partner to know what you like without telling them about your needs and wants. Try to figure out what you like and explain that to your partner.
The second advice she gives is foreplay. She mentions how it’s a requirement, and not a light suggestion. While men get turned on fast, women take longer to get aroused. It is then that Hannah asks her about the recommended time for a foreplay, to which Emily answers with a study that had an average time of foreplay at about 18 minutes. Slow it down, she says.
What happens next once you are in the sheets? Kissing and making out, Emily reiterates. She mentions how kissing is one of the first few things that disappear in long-term relationships. So, it’s important to take things slow, make out for awhile, slowly undress.
Next, she talks about the importance of lubrication. According to the study at Kinsey Institute, that has been doing sex research since 1947, 80% of women who used a few drops of lube were more likely to orgasm. But, it’s very important what lube you buy. If you don’t understand the ingredients in it, you would not want to put that inside of you. She recommends System JO® lubricant.
The last advice she gives in this episode for heterosexual couples, interested in incorporating toys in their sex life, is getting a penis ring with a small vibrator. Vibration feels great to men, and clitoral stimulation brings women closer to orgasm. According to studies only 30% of women orgasm during intercourse, and that’s because they don’t get enough clitoral stimulation. She recommends We-Vibe by Tango for that. And, with the penis ring and the mini-vibe couples are good to go.
Shower sex – on one hand, it is sexy, slippery fun! On the other, it’s dangerous and risky! Buzzfeed debates the value of having sex in the shower.
There are many positive aspects to shower sex:
For long term couples, shower sex is an easy way to spice things up without too much effort.
There nothing in the way – sheets, blankets, clothes. You have complete visual and physical access to the entire naked body.
Water does magical things to the human body. Sexiness amped up to 11.
It’s a 2 for 1 – get it on and get clean all in one go!
The bathroom has amazing acoustics for those who enjoy hearing the sounds of pleasure.
It’s extremely intimate to invite someone into the shower with you as it is usually a solo venture with a different mission.
You don’t have to worry about clean up when you are finished.
Shower sex is a great way to enjoy sex on your period without getting messy.
In turn, there is also a solid case against shower sex:
Do you live with other people? Your parents or roommates? It’s weird to think that they might have got it on in your shared shower. It’s probably weird for them to wonder if you have too.
Showers are where people wash. There is a ton of bacteria you are exposing yourself to.
Showers are great for having some alone time. Relax in the warm water, sing your favorite song or get your schedule straight in your head.
You are putting yourself at risk when you have shower sex. You could very easily slip and seriously injure yourself due to increased movement and misdirected attention.
Water is NOT a good lubricant. In fact, the natural lubricating fluids produced by the body are broken down by water. The more water added, the less slippery these fluids are. That kind of friction does not feel good. If you are using a condom, there is the added risk of it breaking due to insufficient lubrication.
Soap is not a good lube either. It can really sting and if you get soap far enough inside your vagina, you can develop a serious infection.
Timing can be tricky as well. Is it a quickie or a session? The water is going to be cold by the time you get out.
Depending on the shower, it can get crowded and difficult to position yourselves properly.
It’s difficult to share the water equally. Someone will end up cold and someone will be drowning.